Behind the Closed Doors: What Many Men Won’t Say Out Loud!

This June, during Men’s Mental Health Month, let’s create space for honesty — and shed the mask of always having to ‘’be a man’’. When men believe that they must suffer alone, the risk of suicide increases. Emerging research suggests that the pressure to conform to rigid masculine norms — like self-reliability and suppression of their emotions are associated with the heightened risk of suicide among men. However, fostering connection, compassion, and encouraging timely support can help interrupt this cycle. We all have a role to play — by listening, checking in, and letting the men in our lives know: it’s okay to not be okay.

Behind closed doors, many men fight battles no one sees. Sameer shared his experience of battling mental health challenges while constantly feeling the pressure to maintain a façade of “being strong.” Beneath that surface, he wrestled with overwhelming emotions like loneliness, fear, and sadness—feelings that often went unspoken and unaddressed. Like many men, he was raised hearing phrases such as “Be A Man” and “Handle It,” messages that made expressing pain feel impossible.
From a young age, boys are taught to be strong, dependable, and resilient — not just emotionally, but financially. For many men, being “the provider” is more than a role; it becomes their entire identity. Paying the bills, resolving crises, and keeping the family safe often rests silently on their shoulders.
Sameer, a 21-year-old, who lost his father unexpectedly, stepped into this role overnight. He wanted to grieve — to cry — but the messages ingrained since childhood rang louder: “Real men don’t cry. Real men handle it.” So he did.
With the weight of his family’s expectations and his own grief, Sameer took on the responsibilities of an adult life far too soon. His feelings, however, remained bottled up with no place to escape. As the stress intensified and support remained absent, he turned to sleeping pills and alcohol — what began as a coping mechanism soon became a silent dependency.
“I was drowning in responsibilities,” he shares, but admitting that, “I was struggling’’ never felt like an option. And then, thoughts like, ‘’What if I just disappeared?’’, ‘’Would it ease the burden?’’ began to creep in, which were quiet at first, then louder.
This story is not unique. Evidence shows that suicide remains one of the leading causes of death among men— not because they’re less resilient, but because societal norms often discourage them from seeking help or expressing vulnerability. The pressure to remain silent and emotionally self-reliant can become a dangerous weight.
One evening, overwhelmed and exhausted, Sameer reached a breaking point. The weight of staying silent was crushing him. He finally called his childhood friend and said the words he had never dared to say before: ‘I’m not okay.’
That call was the turning point. His friend encouraged him to seek therapy. In counselling, he learned that vulnerability isn’t weakness — it’s strength. Slowly he began to heal, he started to unlearn what he had been taught about masculinity. He integrated constructive coping mechanisms into his daily routine. These shifts contributed to a marked improvement in his overall psychological well-being.
Sameer further shared some of the practices that helped him on his journey:
To engage in physical activity to release stress.
To practice journaling.
Speaking openly with the people you trust.
To practice mindfulness or meditation.
Saying ‘I am struggling’ or ‘I am not okay’ without guilt or shame.
This June, as we observe Men’s Mental Health Month, let us break the silence and remind ourselves: Strength isn’t about suffering in silence. It is all about having the courage to speak, feel and seek help whenever needed. Let’s check in with the men in our lives and remind them: It is okay to not be okay.
Because behind every silent struggle is a story that deserves to be heard and healed.